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To ensure that no user of Grindr ever felt hoodwinked, I took the name "GQ Magazine" and used as my icon a collage of covers, though I was slightly worried that grinders would think I was hawking subscriptions in some kind of seedy jailhouse telemarketing scheme. Though it is 96 percent inane, it's not all sexting and Weinering pics to people.

Many guys started a conversation with the aforementioned "Sup? " I admit, I looked down on them, as one would on "mole people" or Michael "The Situation" Sorrentino.

My deep misunderstanding of Chat was that it was meant to be witty, an actual conversation. Over the months, I learned the mysteries of this strange realm: its customs, its argot, and its social hierarchies.

But eventually I realized that the "Sup" people were not cavemen. They were men in a rush to achieve, and that's what men like to think they do. For instance, in my countless conversations with countless guys, only one man who ever identified himself on his page as a Bottom ever responded to me; Tops almost always did.

I'd take out my device and tap on the black-and-yellow tribal-mask logo of Grindr, an app that lets guys use GPS to meet other guys who are ten steps away or a hundred. Guys calling themselves "Hard" and "Hung 2 Hang" offered cheery requests pertaining to the act of love: "Top bunk, don't be a fuckin' girl, 420-friendly."The Chat, too, was of the highest quality.

The screen would blink into a checkerboard of guys' pictures—whole armies of men who were within a mile of me, many right next door, and I could those distances, for I was the Lord. Someone would message "Sup." Without even missing a beat, I'd come back with "How are you?

They actually market themselves on the thoroughness of their interrogations: What are your favorite sports, your taste in movies, your eye color?

It is also standard practice among grinders to steer clear of certain red flags.

The Grindr users I knew and know had impeccable straight-dar.